


pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

by i_was_human



Series: what do you desire? [1]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Fluff, Gen, Kang Dongho | D.Min is Trying His Best, Kang Dongho | D.Min-centric, Mentioned SA1NT, Pre-debut, Team as Family, feat: the ceo not being the absolute worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25372534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: In another world, Minsung doesn't steal Minsoo's song.(and that makes all the difference)
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min & Kim Daehyun, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kim Daehyun, Kang Dongho | D.Min & Kim Daehyun
Series: what do you desire? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888651
Kudos: 49





	pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

Dongho doesn't understand his dongsaengs, really.

Make no mistake - that by _no_ means implies he doesn't care about them. He just-

doesn't understand them. 

It's probably the three-year age gap between him and Jaewon, but it feels like an insurmountable chasm - never mind the four-year one between him and Daehyun. And it's _not_ insurmountable, it's just-

hard.

It's really, really hard.

Now, Dongho isn't a touchy-feely person. Definitely not. 

Daehyun and Jaewon, unfortunately, are.

He's sitting cross-legged on his bed, a pencil jammed behind his ear and a granola bar sitting, discarded, on the table, when Daehyun walks in, chicken plush cocooned in his arms and worry written all over his face.

And Dongho-

"C'mere."

He pats the bed next to him, and Daehyun slides on, gingerly curling up on top of Dongho's duvet. The light from his laptop is the only illumination in the room, and he doesn't fight it when Daehyun rests his head on his shoulder, a shuddering exhale escaping his lips.

"Do you think we're ever going to debut, hyung?"

It's a common question, this - and were Dongho a better leader, he'd be able to lie believably.

That's what leaders do, isn't it? Lie?

But he _isn't_.

He's not someone- not someone who can rouse the team with a team-building speech. He's not someone who can lift other people up when they're falling down.

He's just-

him.

"I hope so," he finally replies, gaze pinned on his computer. "...do you want to watch that new MV by that boy group you like?"

Distractions.

It's what he's best at.

Daehyun nods, almost tackling him in his urgency to find the keyboard, and Dongho smiles despite himself, watching as Daehyun's fingers flutter over the keys. 

"You wanna grab Jaewon-ah?"

Daehyun shakes his head, tongue peeking out from between his lips. "He's asleep already."

Dongho nods, gaze flitting back to the computer. "...what's this group called, again?"

"SA1NT!" Daehyun enthuses, fumbling with the trackpad for a moment before managing to put the video in full-screen. "My bias is the one in white!"

Dongho stares at the screen for a moment, then at Daehyun. "They're all in white."

"Exactly."

They wind up listening to SA1NT's entire discography, and when Daehyun falls asleep, Dongho untangles himself from the younger's arms and heads for the living room, pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee as he goes.

There's still work to do.

* * *

When Jaewon walks in to the common area, the first thing he notices is Dongho.

The leader's slumped over at his computer, an empty mug that once held coffee near his head. He's clad in only a tank-top and shorts, so Jaewon grabs a fluffy blanket from his room and drapes it over his back before heading to the kitchen, losing himself in thought.

"Mornin'," Daehyun yawns, plodding into the kitchen and rubbing his eyes. "Where's hyung?"

"Asleep," Jaewon whispers, thumbing in the direction of the living room.

"Again?"

Jaewon nods, and Daehyun sighs, reaching around the elder for the coffee pot. 

"Coffee?"

"You're both always drinking it," Daehyun points out, and Jaewon sighs.

"Yeah, but I'm addicted, and hyung sleeps... never."

"I'm going busking today," Daehyun adds, and Jaewon sighs once more, relenting.

(he still winces when daehyun chugs the entire cup in five seconds, though.)

"Hyung and I are heading to the studio for dance practice in an hour - you'll come and meet us when you're done?"

"Duh," Daehyun grins, and Jaewon gives him a soft smile in return. "Gotta go shower!"

He sprints towards the bathroom and yanks the door shut - an action that, unfortunately, wakes up the eldest. Dongho blinks at his black screen for a moment, then turns to face Jaewon, gaze immediately zeroing in on the pot of coffee next to him.

"Have you had any yet?"

Jaewon honestly isn't sure which answer is more harmful here.

"Not yet," he finally decides - better to tell the truth, right? - and Dongho nods, rubbing his eyes as he stands. 

"'kay."

Always reticent, this hyung.

Dongho roots through their protein bars for a moment before tossing Jaewon one, and he places an apple and a granola bar on the counter for Daehyun without explanation.

It's a daily event. 

He grabs a protein bar for himself, then eyes the empty box with disdain before pulling it out of the cabinet. "I think we need more," he simply states, and Jaewon nods.

"Dae mentioned one with marshmallow...?"

"The point of protein bars is to nourish you," Dongho mutters, dropping the box in the recycling. "We have marshmallows."

Jaewon wisely does not mention that said marshmallows are actually stale, and indulges Dongho in his delusions. 

"Heading out!" Daehyun calls, leaning into the kitchen to wave goodbye. 

"Have fun!" Jaewon greets, and Dongho nods, taking a bite of his protein bar.

"Stay safe."

* * *

Dance practice goes as dance practice goes.

Without Daehyun, there's not much they can do, so a lot of it is just Dongho helping Jaewon one-on-one.

It's actually quite helpful.

Normally, when people meet Dongho, they expect him to be dark, quiet, and intimidating - which he is. But, Jaewon thinks, watching as Dongho demonstrates a step for him for the fifth time, that's not all he is.

Things weren't this easy at the start. Daehyun was lonely and homesick, Dongho was awkward and shy, and Jaewon just thought everybody hated him - but it was Dongho who eventually stepped up to do something about it. It was Dongho who brought them snacks during their first all-night practice, and it was Dongho who picked up a small shark plushie for Jaewon's birthday because he remembered Jaewon saying sharks were his favorite animal.

It's hard for him, Jaewon knows. Being both the leader and the eldest - it's _hard_. It's _hard_ not knowing if they're going to debut, it's _hard_ not being able to give them any concrete answers- and that's all hard on them, too.

Jaewon just wants _proof. Proof_ that all of this will be worth it. _Proof_ that it wasn't all for nothing. 

"You're turning a bit too far," Dongho states, and Jaewon nods, reaching up to fidget with his hair. It's still black, and for a moment, he lets himself daydream.

What color could they make it? Green? Orange? Red? Blue?

"Jaewon-ah?"

"Sorry!" he squeaks, hurrying to get back into the starting position. 

Dongho stares at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, before he seems to relax, turning back to the speaker. "Do you want me to do it with you?"

"Um..."

Is there any easy way to say _"I don't want to bother you but yes?"_

Using those words, probably.

And yet, Jaewon is about as socially adept as a _tree_ , so this idea doesn't occur to him until the music's already started, a thudding bass filling the room as he scrambles to remember what Dongho taught him.

It... doesn't work.

He turns too far once again, and winds up tripping over his own feet, landing hard on his elbow as he falls to the laminate floor. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jaewon gasps, reaching over to rub his elbow. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Let me see your elbow."

"It's not _hurt_ , hyung, it's just-"

Dongho studies it for a moment before prodding it, and Jaewon winces, screwing his eyes shut as he yanks the appendage from the leader's grasp. "I'm okay, hyung."

"...we can stop now, Jaewon-ah."

"I'm fine," Jaewon repeats, trying for a smile. "It's just a little bruise."

"Would you tell me if it wasn't?"

Jaewon blinks at him, thoroughly taken aback by that. "I- what?"

Dongho sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "Your health should come first, Jaewon-ah."

 _Should_ being the operative word, here.

"I know," Jaewon smiles - and it's one Dongho can see through easily. "I just zoned out a bit and didn't quite get the choreo."

Dongho studies him for a moment before nodding, a decision apparently made.

"...I'll do it with you."

"I don't wanna inconvenience you, hyung-"

"If I do it with you, there's less of a chance you'll get hurt."

Wow.

Blunt- but Jaewon didn't exactly expect otherwise.

"Okay," he relents, and Dongho gives him a tiny smile before heading back to the speaker.

* * *

Being called in for a meeting with the CEO is never good news.

Daehyun fidgets under the man's gaze, and it's all Dongho can do to not do the same. The man has a way of staring that's... not _dissecting_ , per se, but _stripping_. As if he's looking at you and pulling back all the layers and the bullshit, right down to a vulnerable core.

And that-

that _scares him_. 

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you here today," the man starts, and Dongho stares at him, unsure of what to do.

Nod? Reply verbally? Jump out the window and plummet to his death?

It's a mystery.

"Well-"

He spreads his hands, a greasy smile on his face, and Dongho blinks at him, bewildered.

"Congratulations, boys. The three of you are going to be MAYHEM."

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Next to him, Daehyun looks like Christmas just came early. Dongho can see the hidden excitement in his eyes, tamped down by practice and societal norms, but evident to anyone who cares to look hard enough, and it's _nice_.

On his other side, Jaewon just looks... stunned.

Dongho can't blame him. He probably looks the same.

"You have a meeting with your managers tomorrow at six a.m.," the CEO continues, and Dongho's already sticking that on a mental list (and anticipating daehyun's tears over having to wake up so early) and circling it with a few different neon pens. "It will be at the dorms, and you'll be discussing your debut concept and stage names."

Holy shit.

This is actually happening.

"Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," Dongho replies, taking the lead (since if daehyun opens his mouth, he's going to scream, and jaewon looks like a child who just watched his entire family get murdered in front of him, which is a pretty concerning look for this moment, but at least he's not screaming?). "We'll do our best."

"See that you do."

* * *

Things move fast, after that.

They get their stage names - D.Min, Wyld, and Daehyun - and the youngest is shockingly disappointed by not getting his own stage name, but once Dongho offers to trade, he changes his tune.

The next day, they're whisked off to stylists, and when they return, it's to... decidedly mixed results.

Whoever decided to bleach Dongho's entire head _blond_ was an idiot, and he would like to personally meet whoever decided to make this asinine idea a thing. 

Daehyun makes a quip about how Dongho can't be "mister tall, dark, and brooding" now, and Dongho, once again, offers to trade - which Daehyun, shockingly, doesn't really want to do.

Dongho truly can't fathom why.

Truly.

Jaewon, on the other hand, looks great with red hair - even though he jokes about how it makes him look sexy. 

"You're too cute to be sexy," Daehyun bluntly informs him, and Jaewon chokes on his water.

After that, they're given official positions, and Jaewon actually does cry when they reveal those. 

"I can't be a lead dancer!" he protests, and Dongho and Daehyun exchange looks. "I can barely dance!"

Daehyun leans over to pat his back, and Dongho nods sympathetically.

"You guys- you guys actually _do things_ ," Jaewon continues, flapping his hands wildly as if that'll somehow change official positions - which Dongho sincerely doubts it will. "I just look pretty!"

"You work the hardest at dancing out of all three of us," Dongho points out, and Jaewon deflates, lips drooping into a frown.

"We're just... always there. And I like being able to help the group."

"You've improved a lot!" Daehyun, ever the motivator, adds, and Jaewon flushes, hiding his face in his hands.

"Easy for you to say," Dongho quips, taking a swig from his water bottle. "You barely ever step foot in the studio."

"I _busk_! I do _busking things_!"

"Busking things," Dongho and Jaewon repeat in tandem, and Daehyun bristles, taking another angry (dongho genuinely did not know it was possible to angrily drink water) sip of his water. 

"Do you do busking things? No! I do the busking things!"

"Repeating the phrase 'busking things' does not make it make sense," Dongho points out, and Daehyun throws the cap at his head.

* * *

As debut draws ever-closer, where Dongho will find Jaewon asleep turns into somewhat of a lottery.

Half of the time, it's on the dance floor studio - and those times, Dongho will carry him home, throw his clothes into the wash and collapse into bed, passing out before his head hits the pillow.

Other times, though.

Other times, he's a bit more creative.

For example:

It's a well-known fact Jaewon likes to take walks. It's an even _more_ well-known fact that Jaewon rarely walks the same place twice.

As a result, when Jaewon didn't come home by one thirty in the morning, Dongho had to scour half the city before finding his dongsaeng curled up on a random bench in a random park, arms wrapped around his bag like a pillow and a bit of drool leaking out of the corner of his mouth.

(he did actually get into trouble for that one - both from a panicked daehyun and an exhausted dongho.)

The positions are the main stress factor for both Jaewon and Daehyun, Dongho realizes, staring down at his page of color-coded notes. 

How can he fix that?

He gnaws on the end of his pencil for a moment before tucking it behind his ear, a myriad of ideas floating around his mind.

A day off, maybe?

A pop-up ad distracts him, and he frowns, mousing over it before pausing.

It's an ad for SA1NT's next concert.

The way Dongho sees it, doing this could go one of two ways. 

Way one: this helps both Jaewon and Daehyun relax. It's a fun day for all three of them, and they enjoy themselves.

Way two: Jaewon and Daehyun just get _more_ stressed over positions since they think they have to match up to SA1NT, and this spiral of panic just continues.

"Hngh," Dongho eloquently mumbles, raking his hands through his hair. 

It all comes down to how competitive they are, really-

and the answer is _not very_.

Daehyun has about as much competitive spirit as a rock, and Jaewon really just wants to please everyone but himself.

Yeah, the concert is out of the question.

But a day off... that's a good idea. Maybe to the beach?

* * *

Surprising absolutely no-one, everything goes to shit.

Dongho reflects on what led them to this point - the three of them, drenched and shivering under an overhang - and decides to file it under _team bonding_ , as if that'll make up for the utter shitshow this entire day was.

Jaewon sneezes, and Dongho's about to pull off his jacket and drape it over his shoulders before he realizes that his jacket is drenched as well.

They head inside a shop by the beachfront, and Dongho buys Jaewon and Daehyun dry sweatshirts (and maybe a pair of tiny plushies for them, but they won't know that for a while) and nearly laughs when the woman at the counter asks if he's an idol.

"Someday," he replies, and takes the bag.

Jaewon falls asleep on his shoulder during the train ride back to Seoul, and Daehyun stares out the window, lips forming soundless words and fingers dancing on nonexistent frets. Dongho's not sure when he dozes off, only that he _must_ , because he's woken up by Daehyun nudging his side and asking whether or not he should wake up Jaewon.

He tells him not to, and with Daehyun's help, he manages to get Jaewon situated on his back, the younger's crimson hair sticking to the side of his face and the smell of rain mingling with sea salt. 

What a mess they are.

The walk back to the dorm isn't as dark as Dongho expected - Daehyun only has jokes for the sheer hilarity of their perpetual misfortunes, and Dongho gladly welcomes them - and once they make it inside, Daehyun carefully takes off his hoodie and folds it up on the table. 

The rain pitter-patters on the window, and Daehyun laughs (quiet, restrained) and remarks on how nice it is that they managed to avoid the rain on the way back. Dongho nods, lowering Jaewon onto his rarely-used bed, and when he turns, Daehyun's in the doorway, backlit by the faint hall light.

"It was a fun day," the youngest simply states, and the corner of his lip quirks up into a half-smile. "Thank you."

Dongho's eyes burn, and he nods, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his damp hoodie. "I'm glad you had fun."

Is there another world, Dongho wonders, where things aren't this hard?

Perhaps.

But this world- this world he wouldn't trade for anything.

* * *

The night before their debut, Jaewon and Daehyun both come to Dongho's room.

It's mostly pre-performance jitters, Dongho realizes, but they're both way too stressed to sleep. 

Daehyun's fidgeting with his plushie, squeezing the head so hard Dongho's almost afraid it's going to break, and Jaewon's toying with his hair, twisting and untwisting long strands around his finger.

They need to relax.

"I got you something," he states, and he feels the weight of two gazes on him as he heads for his closet. The plushies are both in a plastic bag under a few jackets, and he pulls them out, turning back around to a pair of bewildered expressions.

Daehyun seems to understand first, and his eyes light up, lips curling into a delighted grin as Dongho passes him the tiny bear. "It's so cute! I love him!"

Jaewon, on the other hand, still seems confused, and Dongho gives him a crooked smile as he places the red bear into his lap, giving the plushie a small pat on the head. "I thought it was kinda Wyld."

It takes a moment for the pun to register, but once it does, Daehyun's shouting protests ("I thought you'd be a leader that didn't make horrible dad jokes! How can you do this? And in front of Jimothy, no less!") and Jaewon's giggling, mouth buried in the plushie's soft fur. 

"In front of my salad," Daehyun finally huffs, squeezing his own plushie in a death grip. "In front of Jimothy and my salad."

"You eat salad?" Dongho dryly remarks, and Daehyun squawks in protest.

"...I like that name."

"Salad?" Daehyun queries, and Jaewon shakes his head, a gentle smile on his lips.

"Wyld. I think it suits him."

"...because he's a bear?"

"Because he's cute," Dongho states, and Jaewon shakes his head.

"Because he has so many friends."

Okay, _ouch_.

Jaewon places the stuffed bear - Wyld - in the middle of his shark and Daehyun's chicken, smile growing as he pats its head. "And the more famous we get, the more friends he'll have."

"He'll always have Jimothy!" Daehyun exclaims, shoving the black bear into the mess of plushies. "Quick! Gotta find something to be Dongho-hyung!"

"What?"

Daehyun plops a book on the bed, and Jaewon and Dongho both stare at him for a moment. "See? It's hyung!"

"I think he's more of a cat," Jaewon replies, brow furrowed in thought. "Or maybe a fox?"

"...do you have a fox plushie?"

"No..."

"Well, then! I just have to get one!"

Daehyun grins, bright and vaguely devilish, and Dongho can't help but feel like he's going to see a lot of fox plushies in his future.

* * *

They debut-

and it feels _wonderful_.

There's something to be said about stage presence, Dongho knows - lectures and analyses to conduct at a later date - but in this moment, he loses himself in the sheer all-encompassing _giddiness_ he feels (and god, he'd never have associated himself with the word _giddiness_ before) in this cramped space back-stage.

Daehyun grins at him, black hair shining under the stage lights, and Jaewon beams, his smile brighter than Dongho's ever seen it. 

And in this moment-

"We made it," Dongho breathes, still a bit stunned but _so, so happy_. "We made it."

It's insane, really- looking back on it. Two years is a long time, in honesty - though it felt like the blink of an eye.

Dongho wonders if the him from two years ago would recognize him now, and decides he wouldn't.

(that's a good thing, he thinks.)

"We made it," Jaewon murmurs, then again, louder, "we made it!"

Dongho's not sure who moves first - him or Daehyun or Jaewon - but soon enough, they're mashed together in a group hug, all sweaty and gross and probably disgusting, but _god_ , this is such a fleeting, perfect moment that Dongho _doesn't care_.

"We made it," Jaewon's repeating, and Daehyun's laughing, eyes scrunched up in a blinding smile, and Dongho's heart feels so, so full. 

(later on, people will ask what his favorite moment was, and he will say this - jumping around in their uncomfortable stage costumes and too-much makeup and sickening amounts of hair-spray, because none of those things _mattered_.

they finally made it.)

**Author's Note:**

> and then a few years later daehyun buys dongho exactly one hundred fox plushies and fills his entire room with them
> 
> blond!dongho was inspired by say my name seonghwa btw - identical vibes
> 
> i was originally going to do canon!minsoo swapping places with this minsoo, but i thought just focusing on mayhem would be better. may still do that. may continue this. idk yet. lmk if you wanna see more!!!
> 
> it was fun to write, tho ^^
> 
> title from owl city's vanilla twilight
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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